Green Lantern’s Light Limps Out

I anticipated awesomeness when I once again made the midnight trek to see yet another comic book movie, “The Green Lantern,” starring Ryan Reynolds as Hal Jordan, a test pilot who encounters a dying alien who bestows upon him a ring powered with the will of all the beings of the universe. Will is explained as the most powerful force in the universe, which manifests itself as green energy. Insert Cartman’s “tree hugging hippie” references here.When I first heard that Ryan Reynolds had been selected to play Hal Jordan, I was highly pleased, because Reynolds’ snarky personality is as perfect a match for the role of Jordan, as Robert Downey Jr. is a match for Iron Man’s Tony Stark. I was not disappointed by his portrayal; however, I was disappointed by the lack of energy, green, yellow or otherwise in the last quarter of the movie. Overall I can only say “ehh” with the shaky hand, not quite thumbs up, but not so much thumbs down. It’s just kind of okay.

Quick synopsis of the story is Jordan, an extremely cocky and often too good for his own good pilot, is selected by the ring, which must be adorned by one lacking in fear, the ying to will’s yang. The ring has to choose a new wielder due to the death of Abin Sur, the greatest of all the Green Lanterns at the hands of Parallax, who is basically the embodiment of fear itself. Parallax feeds on the fear of inhabitants of planets, destroying the planets in the process, all in a quest to destroy “The Guardians” creators of the Lanterns and the “Green Lantern Corp.” Sur crashes on earth, and Hal Jordan becomes the first ever human Green Lantern.

Parallax for those old enough to remember Super Friends and John Hughes movies, is strangely reminiscent of the planet eater Unicron (the last role played by Orson Welles), or, Gallaticus in the “Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer,” for those who’s child hood featured Power Rangers and Sponge Bob. Parallax of course eventually makes his way to earth to feast on the fear of humans, and Hal has to overcome his hidden fears in order to save the day. No spoiler alert there, it’s a super hero movie, of course there’s battles between the good guy and the bad guy.

I will say this, as cool as it is to have a costume that bonds to your skin, the Green Lantern’s mask may be the worst disguise since Clark Kent’s glasses. In the group that accompanied me on this work related excursion, (don’t laugh, you’re reading this review aren’t you?) there was a great deal of discussion afterwards about the lack of the eye piece mask’s ability to actually hide Hal Jordan’s identity. He should have at least thought up a hoodie, or a change in hair style, a mask over his whole face, something. I mean come on, how can anybody not see who he is?

The movie is visually stunning, at least in 3-D, and is extremely entertaining until it pulls a Lebron in the Finals. It just dives in the end, as if Greg Louganis was the lead writer. Although, the now cliché teaser scene after the credits, thankfully not all the credits, lets the fan boys, and girls, know that (spoiler alert) the next villain will be born from with in. Those who know know, and those who don’t will once they see the movie, or just wikipedia it and find out themselves. By the way, I say the teaser scene is cliché, but do sit and wait for it each time, and was I disappointed by the lack of teaser scene at the end of “X-Men: First Class?” Yes and Yes.

The problem with this movie is that because it looked so cool in 3-D, and isn’t overtly terrible, it makes it worth going to the movies to see, unless one was inclined to see it two dimensionally. If that is the case, it can wait until Netflix, Redbox, or those Blockbuster dollar vending machines.